Ultramaratonist, Galantom, organizator de evenimente sportive

Rugaciunea maratonistului

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De ceva vreme m-am apucat să ascult podcast-uri despre alergare. Unul dintre cele mai faine, cel puţin pentru mine, este Marathon Talk. Cu ocazia maratonului de la Londra ei au avut o ediţie specială, unde Tony Audenshaw realizatorul segmentului Tony’s Trials a recitat: Rugăciunea maratonistului.

Dacă la maratonul Reîntregirii Neamului Românesc s-a cântat imnul, mă gândesc să încercăm să facem şi o rugăciune la următorul ;)).

May the taper not have left you feeling fat and lethargic and the sniffles and niggles not
develop in to illness or injury

On marathon eve May your friends and family not text you ‘good luck messages’ after 9pm. If
staying in a hotel, may it be clear of Stag and Hen parties and may your room be some
distance from any noisy air conditioning units, night clubs or someone who has just been let
out of prison or returned from active service and that night been reunited with their loving
partner.

If perchance you do sleep may you dream of forgetting your number or race kit or of not
being able to find the start of the race or of oversleeping and missing it completely, in order
that on the day itself you will wake up, remember your number or race kit, and find your way
to the start on time.

May you eat a breakfast familiar to your digestive system.

May your transport be on time and free from catastrophic mechanical malfunction.

May the portaloos have few people queuing outside and plentiful toilet tissue inside

May your GPS unit and heart rate monitor be fully charged and may it find satellites
immediately and link seamlessly with your chest strap….. and not someone else’s.

May you not be held back by runners slower than you starting too far forward and in turn,
may you not spoil the race for others

May you not set off too fast and remember that if you feel you are running too slowly you
are still running too fast.

Let the weather be 11 degrees centigrade during the race with a light following breeze and
perhaps a hint of drizzle in the last six miles, then after the race may the clouds disperse and
reveal 20 degree sunshine

May your timing chip remain attached, your shoelaces stay tight and may you avoid tripping
over discarded water bottles or slipping on gel sachets.

May you not suffer a visit from the Gingerbreadman, or run directly behind someone who
has.

May you not be impeded by idiots wearing personal headphones, passed by runners in fancy
dress , athletes over the age of 80, your club mates, your partner or anyone off the telly.

May you see your supporters on the course and may your supporters see you and then when
the race is over may they meet you at a pre arranged location and not change their plan and
leave you thirsty ravenous and shivering as they struggle with the overloaded mobile phone
network.

May your nipples and sensitive areas be free from chafing And In the final few miles may you
avoid hitting the wall, resist adopting a run walk strategy and find the strength to f*@$%
your legs, And on crossing the line may you wipe the phlegm from your cheeks and the
crystallised salt from around your mouth and find the energy to smile for the cameras.

And then whatever your time or your achievement, be it a personal best or an absolute
unmitigated disaster, remember that your loved ones have tolerated you’re your persistent
absence, your challenging moods and narcoleptic tendencies for months on end, so wear
your medal or t shirt with pride, celebrate being one of the 0.1 percent of the population
who have trained for and completed a 26.2 mile race and enjoy a few days of being treated
like the hero you are, walking like a cowboy with haemorrhoids, and not having to run a step.

Amen

Marathon Talk is a free weekly podcast aimed at runners of all abilities and available every
Wednesday via MarathonTalk.com and iTunes.
Tony Audenshaw provides a weekly sketch – Tony’s Trials.

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